I'm somebody who has spent far too much time worrying terribly what people think of me. I wasn't able to shrug off negative comments as easily as other people did, and I found myself fixated on the negativity of any situation. I could be having a great day, be confident in what I was doing, but once a 'hater' tried to bring me down, that would all be lost and I'd be left feeling deflated and hopeless again. It's ridiculous how negativity always manages to have such a big impact, I could get 100 positive ones, but that 1 negative would resonate with me so much more.

This is something I've really been working on improving, and I was put to the test this weekend. Set your mind to appreciating the good, and ignoring the negatives and your mindset really does change. I was victim to a whole Facebook status dedicated to people on a witch-hunt, slandering me, without knowing me or the full story... this is a response to a situation got out of hand after I was left some unfriendly comments and retaliated.

Looking back now, I should have deleted the negative comments, ignored the situation and moved on, focusing on the positives... if I had done that, it would have avoided the situation escalating completely. Negativity feeds more negativity. This isn't the first time it's happened either, I've had indirect tweets, instagram posts, forum comments on me, comments in the street... the lot, all either mocking and making fun of me, or insulting me... but this all seems to be a side-effect to signing up to the online, digital-creative, community and sharing online what I do.

I'm sure we've all had our fair share of reading or hearing negative things made about us, close friends or family. I see it so casually whilst scrolling Facebook far too often, sly remarks which in turn can be very hurtful to those reading. Not to mention the amount of comments I notice within on online influencers' instagram pages and in particular within comments on YouTube channels. As hard as it may see to start with, you will truly feel happier if you chose the focus your energy elsewhere and ignore the bad, whether excluding yourself from participating in negative conversations, or ignoring and holding your head up high when you're subject of one. I made the mistake to focus on the negatives way too much, way too often, to the point it made me unwell, but I have never felt better in myself now I ignore them, move on and hold my head up high!

Ralph Smart is somebody I owe a lot to, he was the reason I became vegetarian and his words have helped me in the darkest of times. Advice from him has stuck with me,

'It's always a conscious choice to focus on negativity or positivity, somebody who inspires you or someone who doesn't... Something which makes you happy or something which doesn't...' 

And I can't believe, that until recently, I hadn't truly realised and understood that. Why should we be letting our energy be wasted on negative thinking, when instead we could be focusing that on our goals and happiness? From now on I shall no-longer acknowledge, or give bitching or online negativity, any of my time. Thankfully the online world has a delete and block button, but hopefully it will be just as easy to distance myself from situations which distress me in real life.

We are only human, after all... it is normal to dislike or be annoyed by certain people, but I would never dream of leaving anybody hate*Projecting your own insecurities onto others, or trying to make somebody appear less appealing to others, will not increase how you or others see yourself. If that energy was spent on self love and improvement, it would achieve a great deal more.
*,unless justified, for example if the person is harming somebody or an animal etc. but this is a different situation.
(Source: Unknown)

As I said, we are only human, so just try and reconsider (not that I'm assuming any of you may do it anyway!) before you join into even the most tame 'witch-hunts', news reports, online forums etc, I know I definitely will be distancing myself from any of this sort of drama from now on. These reports/statuses/photos/videos are about real people, who are potentially subjected to reading other people's nasty opinions and comments, when it's not necessarily the full or correct story in the first place. People need to learn to stick together, not bring each other down. If you feel the need to be so negative about somebody, question why and what gain will come to you for doing so?

Quite a serious post from me today, however hopefully it has carried a more positive message and will help those who are subjected to online, or offline bullying/harassment. It's a shame we have to develop mechanisms to cope with situations like this, but perhaps the longer negativity is ignored, the less it will be left. Ralph Smart mentions he has no time for hate or negativity, and when you go through his channel, it's clear to see there is none or very little there, which is great to see.

Finally I should also say a little about this outfit before I quit fashion blogging and go full on life coach over here. Recently (you may have seen on my instagram @charlottefisher) I did attended a behind the scenes shoot with Quiz Clothing for their last campaign in London. Yet again I'd let the negativity of another human stress me out and upset me that day, so I wasn't feeling quite myself, but thankfully the team understood fully. My items were accidentally shipped back off up to Scotland anyway (...whoops!) so I was able to shoot my favourite items in my own time instead, including this incredible dress. For £59.99 I also think it's a bloody steal, and would be perfect for meals out, summer parties, dinner events etc. and even prom if you fancy standing out in black! Or just wearing it and looking way more important than you are, on a regular day, like I did here...

You can see Chloe Lloyd looking absolutely smoking on the advert we filmed that day here - I was fully ready to move into the house we were filming in, how nice is that bedroom?!

The quote emphasising my message of this post, "Keep your face to the sunshine and you won't notice the shadows." definitely applies to this shoot, and it's also remarkable what a bit of Vit D and sunshine can do to your mood! ...Uh, where's the sun gone today though, England and what's that arctic wind all about eh?!!

Quiz Clothing are also, very kindly, giving my readers a chance to win this dress and a £50 voucher to spend on site, just make sure you're following them on instagram @quizclothinguk, and pop a comment down below!  

MUA: Laila Hamidi

*This post is in collaboration with Quiz Clothing, but all opinions, positive messages and wanting to share this gorgeous dress with somebody is my own.